It seems that much of the City is sick. Let me make this clear to you: I am not. I do not intend to be any time soon. If anyone who is sick is thinking of getting too close to me...you will suffer worse than you already are.

I hope that's perfectly understandable.

Edit: What is--

No!

If I find out who spread this picture over the Network, I will show them no mercy.

( Non-IC cut. )

I have never dressed like that! What possible reason anyone could have for imagining that I did...I don't think I want to--

What is this.

( Again, non-IC cut. )

Zuko. I had no idea just what you were getting up to with the Avatar and his little friends, but now--

Well. Don't expect me to protect you from Mai when she finds out.

I don't see why all of you are so proud of having these things tagging along with you today. It seems most of them don't even have proper claws and teeth. Who would want an animal that couldn't hurt someone?

I don't have one. I don't need one. If you think that having a weakness like this is something to celebrate...I probably shouldn't even bother with you.

Honestly. People in this City are so strange.

Why is the fountain filled with pink liquid? If I were back home I'd say it was some kind of waterbending trick, but here I'm sure it's something even more irritating.

I mean, really. Pink?

Ty Lee would like it, though, wouldn't she? Why am I thinking about her now? Certainly it's not that I miss her. I don't miss anybody.

It does smell...interesting, though...maybe it's some sort of grudging reward to us citizens for putting up with the nonsense the deities unleash upon us?

[OOC: The deities clearly encourage underage drinking D: Strikes are hackable.]

What a sad and uninspiring show that was.

What a shame so few of you were anything approaching useful in that little adventure. Even the Avatar's obnoxious waterbending girlfriend would have been more help than most of you. Honestly, it's like all you know how to do when danger strikes is run around and beg for rescue. And then, when rescue comes, half of you complain about it. "Oh, no, there are still people on that ship! I can't possibly go!"

Hasn't it occurred to you that perhaps those people were learning a much-needed lesson in the consequences of their own uselessness?

I'm almost sorry I wasn't there. I could have kicked some of you while you were down.

[voice post]

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

How helpful.

Little targets. I could use the practice.

[OOC: because weird little critters aren't really that shocking to a native of the Avatar world. Voice-spam for the Network; action-spam for anyone who wants to run into Azula frying the little things in Xanadu.]

It has been brought to my attention that this is not the Fire Nation--obviously not the Palace, which is the only place I should find myself. Not even Ba Sing Se or any other such backward kingdom.

If this is some kind of trick, whoever's responsible for it will soon find themselves suffering. Fire burns, you know. And I know the best ways to make it hurt.

Whoever brought me to this strange place: you have one and only one chance to escape the pain I owe you. Reveal yourself. On your knees. And apologize now.

I'm waiting.